having a conversation in a plane with Death. We chatted for a bit, then I disappeared and began typing this into the buffer. She wasn't too hot about parts, but I, I, I kinda thought it wasn't terrible, so here goes.
The date here is March 11, 2002. I copied this out of the xterm lookback buffer. I included the zephyr foo, but don't be fooled; I kept making typos or little mistakes, and then going back and repasting. This was not one continuous zwrite. 'z' is my own perl script for randomizing zephyr signatures. I like velvet cheddar.
parka:~> z kahare
Type your message now. End with control-D or a dot on a line by itself.
A: Nice view.
D: I don't like heights.
A: Oh.
D: But it's pretty.
A: Oh.
D: Nice river.
A: Isn't it, though? I've always loved the Mississippi.
D: Very deep.
A: Yes.
D: Personally, I like the Colorado.
A: Really? I've never seen the Grand Canyon. I'm Anna, by the way.
D: Oh, that's too bad. It's lovely. I'm Death.
A: Pardon me?
D: Er, yes, Death.
A: Death?
D: Er, yes. Nevermind.
A: Your name is Death?
D: Well, yes, in English.
A: Wow, your parents must be very strange.
D: I don't so much have parents.
A:
D: Because I'm Death. Look, don't think too hard about
A: You're Death?
D: Yes.
A: Death? As in, the Great Beyond? The Final Outcome? The Total End? THE
D: Yes, yes, shh, shh, it's okay, calm down.
A: I'm calm, it's just very wierd, you're
D: No, look, I can see you don't believe me.
A: Well, you know, it's
D: Look, I'll show you. See that bird?
A: No! Wait, no, I believe you, just don't
D: I wasn't going to kill the bird, just a joke, sorry.
A: Well, you're very convincing.
D: It's probably because I'm Death.
A: Look, just don't do it again.
D: Okay then.
A: So why are you here? I mean, why is Death here? Are we all doomed or
something?
D: No, not really.
A: I mean, all of us who aren't Death.
D: Heh, right. No, you're okay. I'm just trying to get over this whole
"heights" thing.
A: Er, heh.
D: Hehe.
A: Yeah.
D: So, you like rivers?
A: Ha! Ha, yes, rivers. Rivers are nice.
D: Well, sometimes. You ever been to Paris?
A: No, not really.
D: The Seine's really awful.
A: Yeah, I've heard that.
D: The Thames isn's much better.
A: The Hudson is really terrible.
D: Oh, yes, horrible place.
A: Oh, I agree. You know, I've never really liked New York, and I think that's
a large part of why.
D: Well, New York's not so bad, but you've got to stay away from the Hudson.
A: Definitely. I suppose...
D: Hmm?
A: Well, I mean, as Death...
D: Oh, right. Yeah, I try not to think about it. Dreadful.
A: I see.
D:
A:
D: Look, I know what you're thinking.
A: You can read
D: No, but it's always the same. I'm very sorry, it's just not something
I can do.
A:
D: Look, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything.
A: No, no, you were right.
D: It's very hard, I know. Not that I've ever gone through it myself, but...
I can see it in your eyes.
A: Yeah.
D: It's okay. She's moved on, and someday you will too. It's how it is.
A: Yeah.
D:
A:
D:
A: So... rivers?
D: Look, it's okay. So... you like soccer.
A: Huh? How did you know that?
D: Heh. You've got a soccer magazine peeking out of your bag.
A: Oh! Hey, yeah, soccer. I'm a big fan, I can't wait until World Cup.
D: I follow sports teams now and then. I kindof like soccer.
A: Oh, I really love it. I mean, everyone goes on and on about how it's
boring and slow, but it's strategy, you know? And then sometimes the
whole field just explodes with activity, and it's great, and it's so
exciting. I just love it.
D: Yes, I can see that. I always... well, hmm, you're going to think this
is wierd, but I've always liked tennis.
A: Tennis? Oh, because it's a very old sport.
D: Well, relatively old, yes, so I've gotten used to it. Great game, really.
A: I play tennis, actually.
D: Really? That's great. It's wonderful exercise.
A: Yeah, it is. Hey... I just realised. You said she.
D: Er.
A: Yeah, you said she. How did you know it was my mother who died?
D: I...
A:
D: Well, to be honest, it's like this. I kindof recognized you.
A: What?
D: Well, so, I was at the hospital when you visited -- an unrelated matter,
okay, but just a sort of coincidence.
A: And then, you were there when she finally died, right? And I had to be
there.
D: Right, so that's twice. And then at the funeral -- oh, wait, you may not
know this, but there was an old man working as a janitor in the church,
and he passed away the same evening. I was just keeping an eye on him,
and I noticed you and remembered you from before. And you looked like
you were taking it pretty hard.
A: Oh, so you... so you got on the plane to comfort me?
D: Well, er, yes. It's part of what I do.
A: How do you have time for all of this?
D: Er, so... well, the-- it's hard to explain. It's like there are many of us,
except we're all the same, right?
A: Oh, so this
D: No, this is pretty unusual, actually.
A: Was I really taking it so hard?
D: Honestly, no, you were okay.
A: So.
D: Yeha.
A: I don't quite believe you. So why are you here, really?
D: Well, okay. I'll be perfectly honest this time. You know this plane?
A: Yeah?
D: Well, it was kinda supposed to have crashed about thirty minutes ago.
A: What? So you've been
D:
A: What the hell?
D: So, it kindof did crash thirty minutes ago, you were just very distracted.
A: Uhh
D: Pilot had a heart attack. Very sudden, completely unexpected. Then
the co-pilot... well, so the copilot was out of position, and then
A: Wait, so we're dead?
D: Well, yes, you are.
A: I suppose you're still... whatever you are.
D: That just about sums it up, yes.
A: So... should we be going?
D: There's plenty of time.
A: I... see.
D: So. You like rivers?
--END--
.
rjmccall